So, you’ve been cheated on. Undoubtedly, that’s the worst-case scenario of your relationship you could ever imagine. You are frustrated. And your head is into it. Probably you are even a nervous wreck.
Should you forgive a cheater? Or he or she will cheat again? Is a saying “Once a cheater, always a cheater” always right? So many questions, but very few answers. And the doubts only loom large.
Well, let’s go into the statistics:
- 57% of men and 54% of women admit cheating in any relations they ever had.
- 22% of married men and 13% of women cheat on their spouse.
- 74% of men and 54% of women would cheat if they were sure that they would not be caught.
The interesting fact is that even those couples who are happy in their relationship also cheat. But there is a positive perspective. The majority of people who are in serious relationships have decent chemistry which benefits both partners and can become a determining factor during the crisis of affairs. Not just that, their relationship can significantly improve and become more intimate, so they can quickly stop cheating then and there.
It means that the phrase “Once a cheater, always a cheater‘ is not always real. Some people learn this lesson and go through the painful experience, overcoming less of trust and closeness that leads to cheating.
Here are the top five red-flags that indicate that your partner is not the one who is “Once a cheater, always a cheater” and your relationship still have hope:
- # 1. Your spouse really expresses remorse and has regrets about an affair. Picks heartful apologies that look real when you hear them.
- # 2. Your partner immediately cuts ties with a person he or she has cheated with.
- #3. A cheating spouse shows increased affection and devotion towards you.
- #4. You have an honest conversation with your partner about things that were missed in your relationships and the ways to take it in the future.
- #5. Your partner is willing to start psychotherapy (either with you or individually) to work on the gaps in your relationship.
Well, if your partner has these signs is right for you. It means that you don’t deal with “Once a cheater, always a cheater type” and your relationship has all chances for a successful future.
But of course, there are hopeless players or sex-addicted people who will cheat over and over. And these people are the ones you truly have to be careful with. But how can you tell that you deal with those who are “Once a cheater, always a cheater?”.
Here are some signs to watch out for:
- #1. Your partner continually stays late at work;
- #2. Your partner has frequent business trips;
- #3. Your partner starts new interests or hobbies;
- #4. Your partner always keeps their phone hidden;
- #5. Your partner has unexplained expenses;
- #6. Your partner criticizes your appearance and behavior;
- #7. Your partner is more distant or aggressive;
- #8. Your partner is not interested in sex or vice versa;
- #9. Your partner has mysterious calls with hang-ups;
- #10. Your partner closes a computer each time you enter a room.
If your partner shows these signs, it is high time to stop toxic relationships and open your heart for new connections.
Undoubtedly, first, you may think that this failure causes a pain that you don’t want to be in a relationship again. Definitely not for all the tea in China. Though time flies fast and all bad is quick to forget.
As we already said, “Once a cheater, is not always a cheater” is not always true. But how to find a person you can trust? When it comes to choosing a partner to share your life with, fidelity is the basis. Here are some crucial guidelines you can use to choose the best partner for your life.
Take their past into consideration
Previous behavior is the best indicator of the future behavior of your match. So, if a person cheated before, it is more likely that they will cheat on you too. Take in mind this rule in mind, and you will not have any drama. People are expected to do what they did in the past.
Pay attention to their timing
The immediate past of a person is crucially important. How long was a love affair? If a person had an affair only once and it was a long time ago, probably it will not happen again. But if it was a month ago, it is definitely food for thought.
It is also essential to take into consideration whether an affair took place at the beginning of the relationship, during serious dating, engagement, or marriage.
Consider their habits
Was cheating only one-night stand or a permanent phenomenon? The second ones are more likely to repeat, becoming lifelong habits. And, usually, people turn to their habits during stressful moments. Well, stresses are every day for any relationships. But are you okay that your match seeks consolidation somewhere else?
Understand their point of view
How does a person explain their infidelity? Do they have excuses or show remorse? Or probably they take it for granted? Also, it is crucial to understand whether they feel responsible for their affair or blame their ex for everything.
The best scenario for you is when a person completely takes it all on the chin: their own fault, responsibility, temptation. As it was already said, the best way for change is by accepting the problem. If a person denies and finds excuses for a previous love affair, it is more likely that this person will be unfaithful again.
Take yourself into consideration as well
As it is more likely that people who were unfaithful in past relations would cheat again. The best-case scenario is to avoid people with infidelity records, whatever a good a person may seem. Living in constant fear can make you nervous wreck and lead to serious self-harm. So, the best is to stay away from such people.
To sum up, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” is not always real. The tips above will help you to see if it can work and decide whether you want to forgive your partner or not. Also, taking into consideration the past and present behavior, you can easily stay away from people who may hart you.
One more takeaway: Take a clear-eyed view of your partner, weigh all the evidence, and use your inner gut. They never lie.
Is it true that “Once a cheater always a cheater?”
The phrase “Once a cheater, always a cheater” identifies that if a person has cheated once, they will definitely repeat it in the future. But actually, it is not always true. There are different types of people and various reasons behind their cheating. Some people cheat to feel their self-worth, while others can cheat once by mistake. Each case should be considered individually.
Do you really think once a cheater always a cheater?
It really depends. There are two types of cheaters. The first type is those who cheat only once and feel guilty and remorseful. The second type is those who cheat once and then continue to do it over and over. First may cheat by mistake, while others cheat to feel self-worth or probably to forget about problems in their relationships.
Is a night with my ex means “Once a cheater always a cheater”?
Not always. Cheating is a thing people do, but not the way they indeed are. There is still a chance that a person will learn from cheating and will never come back to it again.
Can a cheater change?
There is always a chance that a cheater can change. According to statistics, 31% of marriages continue to last after cheating. If your partner shows these signs, it is more likely that he or she can stop cheating once and forever:
- Your spouse has regrets about their affair and expresses remorse.
- Your partner instantly breaks with a person they cheated with.
- Your partner shows increased affection and devotion towards you.
- Your partner discusses the problem of cheating and finds ways to solve it.
- Your partner wants to start psychotherapy.
Is once a cheater always true?
Absolutely not. If a person has cheated one, it doesn’t mean that they necessarily will cheat again. If your partner accepts a problem and wants to start psychotherapy to get rid of problems behind the cheating (they always are), then this person has all the chances to stop cheating once and forever.
Is once a cheater always a cheater a thing?
“Once a cheater, always a cheater” is a phrase that can cause a lot of drama for both partners. But actually, it is not always true. If a person cheats once, it is not necessarily that they will cheat once again. It is worth to consider the reasons that lie behind cheating and what a person gets when cheating. Usually, cheating helps to get rid of issues like self-doubt, lack of confidence, or fear or eliminate problems that exist in marriage or relationships.
Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating?
Absolutely. According to statistics, 31% of married couples can successfully overcome cheating and save their marriage.
How do you fix a relationship after cheating?
Building trust after cheating may be tough, but if people want it, it is an absolutely possible thing. Here are some things that may happen:
- Be open with your partner
- Work on the previous gaps
- Give space to each other
- Be on the same page
- Take responsibility
- Don’t press your partner
- Cut off the ties with another man or woman
How do you trust someone after cheating?
If you’ve been cheated on, it may be difficult for you to start new relationships. Here are some must-knows to trust after infidelity:
- Take time to pick up the pieces
- Dedicate some time to yourself
- Forgive a person who has cheated on you
- Focus on something else (new hobbies or traveling)
- Be careful about starting new relationships
How do I know that once a cheater always a cheater?
“Once a cheater, always a cheater” is not always real, but still there are some signs to watch for to identify a person who will continue to cheat over and over:
- He or she works till the late hours
- He or she has frequent business trips
- He or she hides their mobile phone from you
- He or she has unexplained expenses
- He or she is secretive about their free time
- He or she always criticizes you or has frequent short tempers
- Here or she is not interested in sex (or conversely)
Is flirting cheating?
While a flirting itself has nothing common with intimacy, still it is the way of being attractive to another person. So, in some cases, it can be considered as emotional cheating.
Why do people cheat?
Infidelity is the worst-case scenario of any relationships, which leads to tears and causes a lot of drama for both partners. Here are some main reasons why people have the temptation to cheat:
- Lack of love from their partner
- Feeling unsatisfied in sex in their relationships
- Lack of attention from your partner
- Strange coincidence (being drunk or quarreling with your partner)
- The idea that we live only once, so it is good to have intimacy with as many people as possible
- Lack of self-esteem which is increases after every affair with another person
What is emotional cheating in a marriage?
Emotional cheating can be defined as a relationship between a person and someone other than your spouse. Emotional cheating affects the emotional connection, intimacy, and overall balance in marriage. In some cases, emotional cheating can lead to physical cheating.
How to tell that he is emotionally cheating?
Emotional cheating is an increased interest to any other person beyond your relationships or marriage. Here are some signs telling you that your partner is emotionally cheating on you:
- Your partner shows an excessive interest in social media platforms
- Your partner talks-non-stop about their new colleague or friend
- Your partner continually posts new photos to Facebook, Instagram or similar platforms
- Your partner becomes secretive about their free time
- Your partner blames you for cheating
“Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater” or Not?
So, you’ve been cheated on. Undoubtedly, that’s the worst-case scenario of your relationship you could ever imagine. You are frustrated. And your head is i